Help! I dont know what to do with my screaming Banchee!?

How am I going to sum this up in 1000 words? My son will be 4 in September. My husband and I are at are wits end. Since he was born, he has been so fussy and impatient about EVERYTHING. Just different stages. If he can't get a toy to work properly...he throws it across the room. If you tell him no, he is on the floor throwing a fit. He hates doing anything on his own that isn't fun...big example:dressing himself or finding a lost toy. It turns into a big ordeal. And like I said, this has all been since a very young age. Not something sudden. Discipline doesn't seem to work AT ALL, just makes it more chaotic and the he could care less about the reward system. I will have to add an edit to give an example of this.